Banana-buying used to be simpler…and probably will be again, someday

One of the uncles I happily inherited in my former marriage used to say (in a delightful Philly accent), “Honey, I’m so old now, I don’t even buy green bananas anymore.”

I thought of him this morning as I pondered the banana section at the store. Buying bananas these days for me is not as straight-forward as it was for my uncle in his later days. I have to use a fairly complex algorithm in order to land on the right quantity and degree of ripeness in order to make this “simple” produce purchase. Firstly, I have to think about what day of the week it is and what the co-parenting schedule for the week is in order to determine how many more banana-eating opportunities there are going to be for my boys before they go over to their dad’s. If, for instance, it’s Wednesday, and they are going to his house tomorrow afternoon, then at most, they are likely to eat 2-3 bananas. But, these bananas have to be ripe enough to eat right now in order for that to happen. So, I need 2-3 perfectly ripe bananas for the children. But after they head to their dad’s, I will be heading to my partner’s house, which is out of town, for a couple of days. So if I want to get in on the banana action, I either need to eat these perfectly ripe bananas before that trip, or buy two different sets of bananas: 2-3 perfectly ripe ones for the children, plus maybe 1 perfectly ripe one for myself, and then a separate, less ripe bunch that will be perfectly ripe by the time I return from my time out of town. Or, I could consider another trip to the grocery store when I return. Just for bananas. Or, I could travel with the remaining bananas so as not to waste them and then buy more when I return. Or I could buy one bunch, let them over-ripen in my absence and make banana bread when I return.

All this thinking and planning required to purchase the right bananas is enough to drive me…well, you know.